Swimming Upstream lyrics: The sun disappeared right before my eyes My heart turned and walked away I gave you the keys to an open door And you threw them right back at me Once again I'm alone with a … Or deny their very existence? Today at least. and stress. You can’t “fix” your thinking by using the same neural pathways that formed those thoughts in the first place. How no matter what I do or say or think or eat I can’t control what happens to my children, my family, the people I love. . So, when you feel the worry rising up inside, please take a moment to ask yourself what you need and find some way to give it to yourself. If you are interested in exploring more, here are some of the heroes/guides that have helped show me the way back to my perfect self: Martha Beck, “Steering By Starlight” and “Finding Your Own North Star” (https://marthabeck.com); Byron Katie, “Loving What is” (https://thework.com); and Glennon Doyle, “Untamed” (https://momastery.com). The film ends in the pool at Harvard, where he obtains an excellent backstroke time, as his life and family flash before him as he swims. It stars Jesse Spencer, Geoffrey Rush, and Judy Davis. I’d much rather listen than share most of the time. This rule needs to be broken. Hopeful and happy, but with the worn-in, “vintage” look that’s so popular nowadays. Retreat and (Panic) Attack: A Cautionary Tale. I’m a collector of labels. I’ll share an example– by showing Ollie every single way to name and manage his anxious feelings (something that was missing from my own childhood– who did that sort of thing in the ’70s and ’80s?? What if you consulted all the books and experts, “added in” all their tips and tricks, and are still failing to connect with your child? And then our sweet, sweet pup Finny died. Tony was on good terms with most of his siblings, especially "number 3", John. No lingering in the past or dipping into the unwritten future. Joy can be hard to come by (and hard to last) if we try to look for it outside ourselves, even though there are countless little moments provided by the kindness of others and by the wonders of our natural environment. As a refuge, the four youngest felt comfortable in the local pool. If you’d like some company I’ll be right here, rolling my own rock up my own hill.

. But would you offer an exception for yourselves? I’ve just never been able to let it out in an effective or freeing sort of way. As an adult, my imagination shrank way down, and it wasn’t very, well, imaginative. And by the way- there’s nothing wrong with you, either. The Picture #8. [2] On Metacritic, the film has a score of 58 out of 100, indicating "mixed or average reviews", based on 14 reviews from critics. Life is hard, we make mistakes, and we learn. Swimming Upstream #2. . Choosing to act in spite of the fear is a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute intentional choice, and that can be so exhausting- even as it’s getting easier to do. As long as you don’t mind a few curse words in between meditations and water breaks. And I’m tired. And yes, I realized my thought was “Not Normal” the second after I thought it. A year ago, I started this blog, opening up about the challenges our family was facing and sharing some of the insights I gained while coping with the unknown and “swimming upstream.” Now, here we all are, facing a collective Unknown and a seemingly infinite amount of uncertainty. This is nothing like a formal meditation– this is more like lying on your bed and daydreaming.
. Yes, of course there are many happy memories in there too. Fortunately, I have an amazing therapist, and I regularly get coached by fellow life coaches (I highly recommend it! Or just so sad? . Next, I’d like to call your attention to your breathing. Or, more accurately, I’ve reckoned with the old tracks and am learning to step off into the uncharted unknown. Grief is just love with no place to go.” – Jamie Anderson. sort form. . Earlier today, I enjoyed a Starbucks caramel macchiato (with 2% milk, not even nonfat!

From a Jack to a King #4. Our brains, our thoughts, are NOT reliable sources, not even in the best of times. Please don’t surrender the burden of responsibility for your emotional health to your children. Self-care!

What I found was fear– fear of “Not Normal!” and “Something Is Wrong- And It’s All My Fault!” and “You Must Control Everything By Being Perfect.” Ahh, the unexamined fruit of my anxious, perfectionistic child labor, all grown up. Just a couple of hours later, however, we were calling the vet and asking to come in as soon as possible. so full of sugarplums and partridges in pear trees. You are strong enough to surf the waves of panic that rise up to try and fill up those spots where you “let go”- trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Jettison cargo.”. It is hard work, making a deliberate choice to re-set and re-center. “Little-t” traumas and other types of heartbreak also leave their mark on us physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. This is what I call “parenting by subtraction.” This is what I went searching for in the bookstore the other day. Swimming Upstream received mixed to positive reviews. Oh, okay, whoops, I’ve diverged into (political) climate talk, so I’ll redirect. Fortunately, with everything else going on, we don’t actually have to pay attention to our breathing to make sure we’re doing it. Now more than ever, our world needs it. It’s watered my Hope down to Hope-y-ness, but that’s okay. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. Active between 1986 and 2006, he has charted more than twenty singles on the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. I have a feeling that putting my anger out in public through this post isn’t going to end well either, or be perfect, so this is quite a boundary-pushing, out-of-my-comfort-zone kind of exercise. That potential that feels like kissing a baby’s sweet little head, or like a raucous laugh that bursts out of nowhere and comes with tears and side stitches. Trust me, we spend an awful lot of time as it is walking around in a daze, especially at the beginning of the journey, acting as close to fine on the outside as we can, all the while falling apart on the inside. I’ve experienced panic attacks before- usually well after some stressful event or, more frequently for me, seemingly out of the blue. There’s quite a bit of science behind the benefits of using your imagination (see “Richard Boyatzis,” “positive emotional attractors,” “intentional change theory,” “positive psychology,” and “Martin Seligman” for starters). One of the hard tasks now is to accept feeling good, feeling capable, feeling worthy of this small piece of peace.

And if your bag is stuffed with only those, then have another glass of eggnog and thank your lucky stars. But why do I feel that I don’t deserve to be as sad as others can or should be? Be curious. Eventually, however, the air runs out. Unconsciously, you could end up parenting The Ghost of Your Childhood Self, trying to comfort your inner child by either filling in some holes, righting some wrongs that left marks on your psyche, or by slipping out of the harsh realities of adulthood and right into the soothing rituals and words of your imagined idyllic childhood.
However, it was novelist Aldous Huxley who said in 1956, “The price of liberty, and even of common humanity, is eternal vigilance.”.

Out of the night that covers me,      Black as the pit from pole to pole,I thank whatever gods may be      For my unconquerable soul. And I’m a fierce comparison shopper– didn’t get the highest grade? I understand the impulse to validate our own sadness and stress– isn’t that what good friends do?– but what, really, are you saying to us? Right now, in fact, I’m lying with my feet up, typing on my new rose gold-colored MacBook Air, feeling pretty comfortable. I keep hearing and seeing Finny everywhere in the house, and I keep thinking that I’ve got to get home from whatever I’m doing to let him out. So “Hope-y New Year” my friends. Dashing through the holiday “snow” of parties, days off (or not), family gatherings (or family exclusions), we can focus so much on what we should be feeling that we leave no room for what we actually are feeling. So I’m writing this all down not just to share with you, but also to remember. To contentment.

But it is exactly thoughts that I want to talk about: how grief can distort your thinking so that suddenly you are stopped cold in your tracks at what your mind just conjured.

It hardly seemed worth it to me to write anything at this time– so many others have done so much to help all of us manage our feelings, stay safe, keep active, and be informed– who am I to think I could add anything of value to these conversations? It’s too high a price to pay. I’m not faking it, or avoiding it– believe me, I’ve tried both for decades now, but my cosmic fatigue finally forced me into this new place, and it actually feels strangely good. Be Present. Or how about this one– received some positive feedback? All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. And then night fell. Swimming Upstream, a song by Ricky Van Shelton on Spotify. Following the terrific example of our beloved dogs and “shaking it off” can be an immediate mood booster.

  And what I’ve only recently discovered is that self-compassion is the flip-side of worry. Something was off, but hey, I was away from it all, so I tried to take it in stride. This panic attack lasted for hours.

Talk about suffering. And then I remembered something: I’ve been a worrier my whole life. The abuse was exacerbated by Harold's alcoholism, which in turn led to frequent difficulties with money as Harold, who worked at the docks only when ships were in port, was often off work, sometimes due to divisive labour unrest on the wharf, and strikes. Try it for five minutes, or ten if you’re feeling up for it.

You add a new skill, food, stimulating toy, or piece of music to your parent resumé. What if your child needs you to be something you aren’t? And for many kids, this way of “building a parent” works just fine. https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/928849/Ricky+Van+Shelton. Why is it so hard to remember our common humanity? Here are the titles, in alphabetical order: “Not By Chance: How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment” by Tim R. Thayne, Ph.D. “Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive” by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed. Light the candles, but acknowledge the existence of the darkness too. Finding the Humor in Humanity (and why is it all so incredibly hard??). Physical, emotional, mental. Hello, my name is self-deprecation.


I still feel their pain more deeply than my own– watching your children suffer is the worst torment on Earth for parents– and yet my tears, my sadness, my laughter, are all my own. It is exquisite, and it can take your breath away.

It’s still so miserably hard to stay eternally vigilant and planted firmly in the present, open and terrifyingly exposed to the unknown. What sort of breaks have you been giving yourself lately? subsided, not with a bang but definitely with a whimper of gratitude. I am resigned to the facts that bad things happen and I can’t control everything. Instead, I had to learn who I was. I, for example, feel guilty at times that I feel so gobsmacked by my own traumas when others have much bigger challenges. I tossed and turned, reassuring myself it was “no big deal,” just the usual insomnia, until I gave up and sat up and started reading. My worry is impressive in both size and scale, in its longevity and its endurance. We had selected a small, plain, wooden box for his remains, one that had a place to display a photo on the front. Why is it that pain is easier to imagine and talk about than joy? I’d much prefer to be smiling and self-deprecating, and make everyone happy. Redirect that love that’s pointing in the wrong direction- aim it at yourself. When we reflect back on our memories, we often switch gears right into our younger brains– the patterns and thoughts we used way back when, and following close behind are the feelings and emotions from way back when too. I’m an imposter (got lucky that time- but what about next time?).

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